I haven’t read Bukowski in almost nine years even though I have most if not all his work. He’s one of the few writers in history whose writing fascinates in part because of originality in time and his unorthodox style of expressing, in brutal honesty, his outlook on the human condition. There is something to be said of the honesty in character of a man who rattles away at the keys on his machine gun (typewriter) to let the rats out without care in the world, mostly shredding himself in the process. I recently started reading perhaps for the third time one of his collected letters and this one in particular caught my interest because of its subtle revelation of women’s propensity to use against men their most potent tool, shaming. Women’s employment of this artful tactic to get men to do what they want means the society who venerate them is bound to follow suit to get men to do what is mostly against men’s interest. Here is Buk detailing in a letter one of the conversations he had with his wife, Frances.
[To Jon and Louise Webb]
November 19, 1964
[***] after dinner—our Frances has picked up and gone into the other room. These broads mash me. table talk. I asked what they would do to a man who said (to the authorities) that he was a coward, that he thought war might possibly kill him and that he didn’t want to die. He would not state that it was against his morals or his religion. Just that he didn’t want the thing to kill him. Frances said that they would probably consider him an idiot. maybe I resented this because this was the very inference I made to the psychiatrist without saying the words when I faced this situation. And then I told her that if a man were really a coward he would have lied about his reasons anyhow, giving religion or morals as an excuse. Then I added that honest men were not truly cowards. F. then said that that was not so, that we all had fears. I said she was picking at words, distorting what I had meant for the sake of the argument. Then F.: “Well, if Charles Bukowski saysit’s so, then it’s so. Isn’t that it?” I said, “You and I have had done with each other for tonight. I don’t know whose fault it is, yours or mine, but something’s wrong here.” Then she went into the other room.
most of the time I attempt to avoid this type of talk and/or yak because I am not interested. I know that her groups become heated and gabble, DISCUSS, they simply love to DISCUSS, and F. is trained in this ping-pong type of thing. Actually most of these people have just lived on the edge of living and so they are full of bilious sort of stale and clotted energy which they must expel as sort of poison. I am too tired to argue. It doesn’t matter. Let them win; I just don’t want to hear it. I didn’t even want to hear it in Junior High school, these little mouths with papers in their palms, saying, DEFINE that! ha well, we go on. but no wonder I layed drunk in the alleys, no wonder I lived with the whores.
“If Charles Bukowski says it’s so, then it must be so.”
Maybe she’s got something there. But it is the first time she has attacked me through my name – meaning that since I have gotten a lot of poems published that this has distorted my ego or made me a bad judge of any meaning. It is possible, of course, yet I am unhappy with her technique. Also little comments on my playing the horses and drinking but as I see it I was doing this when she met me and if it weren’t for the child I would not be with her now. I have lived with many many women and it ends up the same: they want to shave you down to a wooden dummy to do their bidding, and, after all, I’m CHARLES BUKOWSKI!!!!
so to hell with it. [***]
Here we witness the female nature whose remote concern is the well being of the man and her artsy way of using the weaponry of shaming to attend to her need. But it’s worth noting the brilliancy in the way Buk concocted his story to Frances, how he shamed the hero of his hypothetical story to neutralize any further shame on him. He said, “I asked what they would do to a man who said (to the authorities) that he was a coward, that he thought war might possibly kill him and that he didn’t want to die.” Buk understands the way women think and perhaps knew what Frances reply would be if he hadn’t said it first. He knows how Frances think is exactly how society thinks, so he neutralizes her weapon by assigning shame to the hero of his story before she had the chance to. Of course, he knew that the man he speak of, himself, is the strongest and bravest of all but nevertheless willing to be seen and thought of as a coward if that means he gets to live and live only for himself.
Gentlemen, an utter indifference towards people’s opinion concerning your most personal decisions is a mark of a man going his own way. You couldn’t be red pill or a man going his own way if you are worried about your image and inclusivity, you are not going your own way while being fearful on how others will see you. Shame is what is often used to incite this fear.
Frances predictably said all the things women would say if asked the same question, “Frances said that they would probably consider him an idiot.” That is her second go-to, that is her white feather. All things considered, safety is really high on women’s list of concerns and they are willing to sacrifice even a man’s life to ensure it. Correspondingly, just as the pendulum swing due to an exerted force of another object, men, naturally disposable, are willing to sacrifice their lives for women who request they do so. This has been the case throughout the human existence.
Yes, it’s easy to fool many who wallow in grave ignorance, however, interesting things begin to happen when a man or a group of men says “No, we will not be sacrificial lambs on that sacrificial alter to save women or society who couldn’t care less about our well being.” What happens when these men begin to declare value on their own lives? What happens when war break and these men refuse to go fight in it but instead choose to save themselves and only themselves? All hell breaks lose, that’s what. Because that self-ownership contradict the traditional way of things and most of all contradict women’s expectation of men which is for men to willingly lay down their lives, a method or a tactic would have to be used to get these men to comply and fall in line. We saw this in effect when Hip Hop came onto the scene during the 70’s and the 80’s. Everything was fine at first until this new genre of music became an avenue for verbalizing and voicing oppression. Hip Hop talked about many things but one of the shocking things it did was cross a gender barrier no music has ever crossed before. Hip Hop became the first musical genre to throw up the collective middle finger and said FUCK WOMEN, and of course, we saw the retaliation that followed. Even though, in contrast, Heavy Metal painted a gorier and more violent scene than Hip Hop, because it left women alone it was left alone. On the other hand, Hip Hop angered society (women) who in turn called for its ban right out of the gates because its contents were considered offensive to women.
Bukowski letter is self-explanatory but I would like to relate it to what MGTOW men are doing collectively online and in their individual lives. Because of their deep understanding of the male and female nature, MGTOW minded men are eschewing all societal roles and obligations placed on them despite the shaming by women and society. Shame is very effective, gentlemen, and you have to understand that it would be used against you at every junction of your life. The moment you decide to go your own way and start doing things for you and for you only, you are bound to be ridiculed and mocked. It’s all to get you back in line to perform your duties as a man for them. It is evident in their use of “the real man,” a conning attempt to heap praise on the slave who remains loyal in servitude and to denigrate the man whose refusal to bow any longer poses a threat to their comfortable and undeserved lives. In this article, I use women and society interchangeably but be aware, my friends, that they are one in the same. Society is women and women is society.
Lastly, I’d leave you with what Dr. George Simon said of shaming, “manipulator uses sarcasm and putdowns to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore defer to them. Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look or a glance, unpleasant tone of voice, rhetorical comments, subtle sarcasm. Manipulators can make one feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is an effective way to foster a sense of inadequacy in the victim.”
Realize that women are master manipulators. Have a good day, gentlemen.